Back to You- John Mayer

I realize that probably not many people receive insight into their spiritual lives from a John Mayer song. In fact, I may be the only one. But as I was driving home from work, his song “Back to You” was playing and I realized how much it detailed my relationship with Jesus. You know, if you ignore the fact that he’s singing about an ex-lover he can’t get over. If you’re not familiar with the song, here are the lyrics:

Back to you
It always comes around
Back to you
I tried to forget you
I tried to stay away
But it’s too late

Over you
I’m never over
Over you
Something about you
It’s just the way you move
The way you move me

Yeah, I’m so good at forgetting
And I quit every game I play
But forgive me, love
I can’t turn and walk away

Back to you
It always comes around
Back to you
I walk with your shadow
I’m sleeping in my bed
With your silhouette

Yeah, should have smiled in that picture
If it’s the last that I’ll see of you
It’s the least that you
Could not do

Oh, I will
Leave the light on,
I’ll never give up on you,
Leave the light on,
For me too, for me too

Yeah…

Back to me
I know that it comes
Back to me
Doesn’t it scare you
Your will is not as strong
As it used to be
“Back to You,” Room for Squares, (c) Aware/Columbia 2001

I’m going to be fairly open and transparent throughout this post, as I believe it would be appropriate. I have a very difficult time with modern-day Christianity. I don’t really care to get into detail here, but suffice it to say that it makes me really upset most of the time. Often, my feelings and observations of Christianity have led me to just give up on it and walk away. But that left me with one problem: what do I do with Jesus?

That’s where the song rings true. It always comes back to Him. I try to forget Him and stay away, but it’s too late. His mercy, grace, and love have overwhelmed me, and I can’t get over Him. There’s something about Him. He’s altogether lovely. It’s just the way He moves me. The way His Spirit ministers peace, grace, and love to my soul and encourages me to do the same for others. I’m so good at forgetting His sacrifice, His unconditional love, the blessings He’s liberally given me and how they also extend to others. For all this and so much more I can’t turn and walk away. But I’ve tried.

And it always comes around back to Him. I walk with His shadow be it His Spirit calling to mine, His fingerprints on creation, or just something in class that points to Him or His revelation. It was as if I were sleeping in my bed with His silhouette; in quiet times I would remember just how good He is and that His mercies are new every morning. And His faithfulness and compassion are great and don’t fail. Because He always comes back to me. Running like the father of the prodigal son.

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