Matthew 18

This is a reply I gave a FB commenter on my church discipline post. It further explains my reasoning for “The Curious Case of Church Discipline.”

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One, I don’t see repentance mentioned. This passage talks about a brother refusing to be reconciled with you, at least on your terms. And there isn’t even a process given for restoration after he refuses to listen to the church. I also don’t see any instruction to “cast out.” You’re to count them as a “heathen” or “publican,” but who are they and what does that mean? They are the ones in need of forgiveness from God; the ones who need a grace they don’t deserve. That’s how Christ commands us to regard them. In addition, the only occurrence of “casting out” that appears in the passage you gave is with the servant who refused to forgive his fellow servant’s trespass (debt). I also noted that in vs.18 and 27 the word “loosed” is used and seems to be important. The master was moved with compassion, forgave the servant, then forgave his trespass. And, as is evident from the rest of the story, the servant was unrepentant. I think that’s important.

This chapter, to me, is divided into two sections: pt. one deals with the “offender” and pt. two with the “offendee.” Part one is an admonition to be careful not to offend, and if you do, fix it even if it means harming yourself because God’s wrath lies with you for harming one of His “little ones.” But, Christ also tells us that if we offend, He seeks for us because he wants us to be reconciled and does not will that even we should perish. We need not fear reconciliation.

Part two is instructions to the offended one on what to do if this happens to him. First, go try to reconcile. That’s the part referred to as church discipline. It’s interesting that the person harmed is responsible to initiate restitution, not the perpetrator. Anyway, the offended is to explain the offense to his brother and set the terms to “right the wrong.” If the offender refuses this, the other steps ensue. This is followed by a caution: what you (the offended) forgive (loose) here will be forgiven in heaven, and what you fail to forgive (bind) here will not be forgiven in heaven. That’s a considerable amount of power. This caution is followed by a lesson in forgiveness, and i don’t think that’s coincidental. Peter asks how often he should forgive an offender and Christ replies always (essentially). Christ implores us to forgive always and seemingly unconditionally, which would include the condition of repentance. I believe the ensuing parable illustrates the extent of our forgiveness. We should 1) be moved with compassion for our brother, 2) forgive (loose) him, and finally 3) forgive his trespass (debt). The reason why that I get from this passage is that God forgave our much greater trespass (debt) against Him. Or, in other words, extend grace because a much greater grace has been extended to you. Note that none of this is dependent upon any sort of repentance. Never is it mentioned that our responsibility to forgive is to come after the offender shows he’s indeed sorry for the wrong. And, as I read this passage, if we fail to forgive we are under judgment.

The Curious Case of Church Discipline

I have a confession to make. I hate church discipline. There it is, I’ve said it. Okay, maybe ‘hate’ is too much; strongly dislike it for sure, though. I realize that it may be necessary in certain situations; however, those instances are so rare I can’t even think of one right now. I have three main issues with the practice called “church discipline” all of which, in one way or another, center around the fact that we aren’t God.

Reason number one: we aren’t holy. Sorry, but it’s true . Our innate lack of holiness precludes us from rejecting other believers from our body. It’s kind of a “he without sin” meets “remove the beam from your own eye first” principle. You and I are completely and thoroughly fallible and it’s slightly hypocritical of us to punish someone else for being just like us. Slightly. Also, God’s holiness allows Him to judge sin objectively; our absence thereof means we can only evaluate sin subjectively. People are usually kicked out of church for “bringing shame” or “promoting sinfulness”, which generally means whatever they did was something obvious that the collective “we” doesn’t like (the sinner!). So, a congregant consistently cheats on his wife: hasta la vista, baby. Brother So-and-so consistently cheats on his taxes: let’s make him our accountant. But here’s the thing, God isn’t subjective. He looks at the guy who consistently cheats on his wife and the guy who consistently fails to treat his children with grace and love and He sees sin and feels shame. And we miss that. Sin is sin is sin with God. To Him there’s no difference between failing to adequately appreciate your spouse and beating them. Be we see a difference and judge them accordingly. For a group that’s God’s representative on earth, we sure don’t judge like Him. And we aren’t such great stone-throwers or splinter-pullers either.

Reason number dos: we aren’t omniscient. Even I don’t know everything. (Surprising, isn’t it?) Truth of the matter is, I can only see some of what you do and can only guess at what you’re thinking. That’s a problem, especially if I’m trying to judge you. And it’s a much bigger problem when “lack of repentance” is the criterion for banishing you from fellowship. Because try as I may or as obvious as it may seem, I do. not. know. that you’re unrepentant. Repentance for you may not look like it does for me, and that’s okay. It probably shouldn’t ’cause I’ve never been cloned (shockingly. There really should be more of me.) and we’re different types of people. The process of repentance may be longer and slower for you and I need to learn to deal with that. Now, I know what you’re probably thinking. According to the Bible we can “know them by their fruit,” so someone who’s repentant will show obvious signs. Right? Well, yes and no. Someone who wants you to think they’re repentant definitely will. And here’s the kicker: you and I will never know the difference. So I prefer to leave it up to Someone who knows the thoughts and intents of their heart. Ya feel me?

Another way our non-omniscience fails us in the process of church discipline is in reconciliation or “restoring a brother to fellowship,” if you will. You and I do not know the end from the beginning; we have absolutely no clue what God is trying to accomplish in our “fallen” brother’s life. But we act like we do. We pray for specific things and looks for particular actions, and when we don’t see them, we assume there’s no progress. But God could be up to something wicked awesome that’s completely different from what we expect and we miss an incredible display of what our God can accomplish. How about instead of praying that Brother Jack goes back to his wife or that Sister Jill abandons alcohol, we ask that they are sensitive and open to God’s leading for that day and remember His good grace. Jack and Jill will probably appreciate it more. Just sayin’.

My last piece o’ beef with the whole church discipline deal is that I find it difficult to reconcile with the concept of grace (and grace begetting mercy). More accurately, I miss where grace fits in at all. From what I understand, the church is supposed to represent God. I know that God, in His grace, sent His Son to die that I might live even though my life was characterized by sin. I know that even though I consistently fail Him and often stubbornly refused repentance, He still bids me come. I know that when I try to live my life without Him, He never revokes my right to boldly approach His throne where Christ is still interceding for me. I’m sorry, but I just don’t see this paralleled in church discipline and it’s very, very hard for me to get past.

What then? Shall we sin that grace may abound? God forbid! But, where sin did abound, grace did much more abound. As I see it, when a fellow congregant messes up and “humanity shows” is the prefect opportunity for a deeper understanding of grace. It’s a time when can shower a person with a grace he doesn’t deserve but desperately needs. In doing so, we can reflect on our own salvation and stand in awe at the matchless grace God extended to us exceeding abundantly above all that we could ask or think and with which He continues to cover us. The somber, sobering process of discipline would instead be transformed into a church-wide “Grace Par-tay” complete with skittles and worship eagles (total SCL reference. Go check it out). Kidding about the skittles and eagles, of course. But overall, it strikes me as a more edifying turn of events.

Whew! Well, that was long and just the tip of the ice berg, really. I didn’t even get into humanity, shame and guilt, abandonment, punishment, shunning, pride, hypocrisy, and Christian gang violence! Some other time maybe (probably not).